I've Waited All Year...

I've waited all year to share my reading list from 2016! The good, the bad and the ugly!

Now that I am an adult, I have a renewed loved for reading.

Gone are the days of forced reading from high school. I believe that I always have loved reading, but perhaps a rebellion occurred ever so slightly from the forced reading required of me during the school years.

Now, I read for me, and books are beautiful.

Only in a book can you...

Be transplanted into a fairy tale or a new planet, without even leaving your couch.

Be immersed into a people conflict, that is still alive in the 21st century. Where you find compassionate people, who are just like us... wanting peace, unconditional love and a place to belong.

Be challenged, with your thinking, your way of living, and with the traditions and truths you have always believed to be true, just because.

Reading a book is a great adventure. 

Here's my reading list and thoughts from 2016!

The Bible
I didn't read through the entire Bible this year, but I did spend A LOT of time in the Bible. This book is the single most impactful book I have ever read. It is a love story. Although written thousands of years ago, the words are alive and active, (Hebrews 4:12). Each story applies to my life, today, with wisdom and discernment, I have the opportunity to learn from those who've gone before me.

Love Does, by Bob Goff.
Bob is probably one of my most favorite people EVER! Having the privilege of meeting him, he is as genuine as they get.
This book is a yearly one for me. And I'll be starting again on January 1. I love this book so much that it's required reading in my house, and my children, (bless them,) will "get" to read this book and write a book report on it before they are allowed to get their driver's license.

The Lemon Tree, by Sandy Tolan
This book is incredible! I loved every word in it. It's the story of an Arab, a Jew, and the family history of two families during the Holocaust through the Palestinian/Israeli war in 1948. Read This Book!

The Insanity of Obedience, by Barry Stricker and Nik Ripken.
This book is sequel to the Insanity of God, which I read last year. The subtitle is "Walking with Jesus in the tough places." This book addresses the persecution around the world, the rise of it, and what we each are called to be, sheep among wolves, found in Matthew 10:16.

Mother and Son, The Respect Effect, by Emerson Eggerichs
This is by far the best parenting/mothering book I have read. Following the concept of Love and Respect, another book and topic that is spearheaded by Eggerichs, this book literally gives me hope while raising a soon to be teenager. With great concepts and even better examples and tools, I actually applied what I learned in this book, and have seen the most beautiful transformation between my son and myself.

Play with Fire, by Bianca Juarez Olthoff
I love this lady! As a guest at our women's conference in 2015, she lit the place up. She's not only hysterical, she's passionate about Jesus. "Play with Fire" is Bianca's first book, and marries her own personal story growing up in Southern California, and scripture to prove, God is redemptive, and He's ready to use you!

Be Our Guest, The Disney Institute
An indepth look into Disney's world class customer service, plus, amazing and fun insights into Disney, Disneyland, the movies and how everything is literally tied together!

Disney U, by Doug Lipp
This book dives into the principles of Disney University, Disney's employee orientation. Basically an incredible leadership blueprint.

Present Over Perfect, by Shauna Niequist
After seeing Shauna speak at the Global Leadership Summit last August, I knew I had to grab her recent book. Written with a soft and almost poetic tone, this book wrestled with the things we choose to spend out time on, and how to cut out busyness and start a journey to a slower lifestyle, filled with rest, peace and grace.

The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict, by Dale Hanson Bourke
Written for the purpose of providing accurate information on the details between the Israeli and Palestinian conflict, Dale navigates a glossary of terms and provides fair and unbiased information. This book was huge in me for my understanding phase of this conflict, and I continue to immerse deeper into this conflict. 

A Beautiful Mess, by Danielle Strickland
I just love this gal! Danielle's stories are incredible, and she has fully embraced her calling as a story-teller. In "A Beautiful Mess," Danielle walks us through how truly creative our God is and how He is inviting each one of us into this grand design He has for our life and our world. 

The Color of Grace, by Bethany Haley Williams, PhD
This book was a tricky read. It took me much longer to get through than a normal book. I really just didn't want to read it, and was turned off by the first few chapters. However, I persevered, and was quite pleased. There was a little bit of a pity party thrown in the book and I really have more things to do than read about other people's self-inflicted pity parties. But, when she got to the meat of the book, and how she ended up in the Congo and in Uganda, I was intrigued. Not by the terrible, terrible, stories that are happening to children over there, but by God's redemption found in the child-soldiers, and the hope that comes from the ashes of a broken life and family. 

Into Their Hearts, by Valerie Bell
I have had this book for years, and never picked it up. But, this year I did! It's a quick read and I finished the book with a renewed understanding that the healthiness of my relationships. My relationships are directly related to my priority list. And my priority list shapes the way I live and interact with those around me. If my priorities are skewed, my relationships won't be as genuine, warm and loving. AND... in regards to parenting, she had a quote that is very obvious, but I definitely needed the reminder... "Give them what they need, not what they deserve." 

Encounters with Jesus, by Timothy Bell
I love history! And I love historical story-telling. Not sure if that is an official thing, but I think it should be. This book takes the big questions we have in life and provides biblical answers to them. Bell does this by taking the people who had encounters with Jesus in the New Testament and walks us through their story, historically, culturally, etc., and answers their big questions. Questions that are the same for many of us today.

Believing Jesus, by Lisa Harper

Lisa takes the reader through a journey of the book of Acts in this book. Although she leaves out a few key stories in Acts, her purpose is to walk the reader through the book of the Bible and answer the question, is it worth it to believe in Jesus? 

Fight Back With Joy, Margaret Feinberg

Not a huge fan of this book. Not sure I'd recommend it to anyone. 

The Little Book of Conflict Transformation, by John Lederach

I haven't yet figured out the purpose of this book. It was a hard read with ongoing sentences that didn't say much. However, it did make one statement at the beginning I spent some time reflecting on... "Conflict is a gift." This means that when we have conflict, it causes us to think of things differently, it is a catalyst for change. 

What's next for me in 2017? 

Here's a sneak peak!

• Danielle Strickland has a new book coming out this Spring. It's #1 on my list as soon as it arrives. 
• The Lifegiving Home, Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming, by Sally Clarkson. I know I'm weird, but I love books like this!
• A Meal with Jesus, by Tim Chester. Anything that involves Jesus, food and a table... I'm there. 
• Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown
• Start With Why, by Simon Sinek
• Good to Great, by Jim Collins
• Looking for Lovely, by Annie Downs
• Audacious, by Beth Moore
• Love Does, by Bob Goff... again of course, 4th time reading it!

Happy Reading!

Can You Imagine...

It's lush and beautiful, the foliage full of color. Narrow, a stream that is shallow and emerald.

And I just keep thinking, Jesus walked here. Like, literally here. Where my feet are.

And before Jesus, we encountered many others in our Biblical history who have been here before.

In the days before the wall came down at Jericho, Joshua was here.

In Joshua 3, it tells of the time the Jordan River was at flood stage. Much different than it is right now. It was raging. The water was high, carrying debris from upstream down to where it meets the Sea of Galilee, as it always is at the time of harvest.

On this day, around 1300 BC (the later part of the Bronze Age), Joshua was to be exalted in the eyes of all of Israel.

God was about to use the Jordan River as a powerful tool to show the Israelites that God was with Joshua, just as He was with Moses.

And what happens next is one for the record books...

Twelve priests, representing the 12 tribes of Israel would carry the "Ark of the Covenant," this wooden chest which not only at one time held the tablets of the Ten Commandments, but also was a representation of the presence of God, into the Jordan River.

"See, the ark of the covenant, of the Lord of all the earth will go into the Jordan ahead of you." 

Israel packed up all their belongings to cross the Jordan. The priests went on ahead. The water was raging, white water, rushing. 

Can you imagine? 

In faith, the priests continued toward the raging water. What was going through their minds? What were they getting themselves into? Afterall, Joshua is new at this. The leader of Israel for what... a few hours? And at his command they are headed straight for the turbulent waters. 

Scared or not, confused or not, trusting in their new leader, they stepped into the dangerous waters. 

"Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water's edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing." 

That's right. The water stopped. It piled up a great distance away in a town called Adam. 

Israel crossed the Jordan River on dry land, and the priests stood in the middle of the dry river bed, holding the ark, until each person had made their way across.

And my mind keeps going back to the verse in Joshua 3. The Lord, of all the earth, the Lord of the Israelites and of me, went into the Jordan ahead. He went first. And this boggles my mind because in times when I feel alone (even with this rambunctious household of mine), I feel like I'm on this journey solo. But I'm not. The Lord saw it fit to enter the waters before Israel, and He sees it fit to walk before me in my unstable mediums of life.

And then, we find, some 1400 years later, Jesus came. He heard of this man, his cousin, who was preaching to those in the desert of Judea, "Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near." And with that, people would confess their sins and were baptized in the Jordan. 

Jesus, hearing of this, came. His intent? To be baptized.

When John the Baptist saw Jesus, he was ready. He knew who Jesus was. The One who would come after him, who would baptize with the Holy Spirit. 

John the Baptist was only baptizing with water. And when Jesus presented himself to be baptized, John was confused. How could he, an unkempt man, with clothes of camel hair, (and I imagine his hair was a tad on the wild side), be the one to baptize the Messiah? 

But at Jesus' request, he did. 

The waters were calm that day. And, for the first time in the New Testament, we see the Holy Trinity. 

Upon being baptized, when Jesus came out of the water, heaven opened up. The Spirit of God (Holy Spirit) descended on him like a dove. In my mind, the gentle dove rests on Jesus' shoulder. And then at the same moment, a voice from heaven spoke.

"This is my Son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased." 

Can you imagine what that scene would have looked like? For those watching on the river banks. Never, in their lifetime, had they experienced God. Just previously, there had been 400 years of silence, and even when the silence broke, only an Angel of God appeared to a select few. 

But here were are, waist deep in the Jordan River, and God, and His Spirit show up for Jesus' baptism. And God, issues a public statement, affirming His Son. For Jesus, although having a wonderful and faithful step-father, this is the first time Jesus, hears publicly from God, from HIS Father. 

And quite quickly, the entire scene was over.  

Now, today, here I am. Standing, my own feet in these waters. The smooth, slimy rocks, sanded down by the water's current over thousands of years. This water is calm. Quiet. 

 I am standing upstream, away from the crowds. And I watch the fish mosey through the water. Catfish, Barbel fish, and St. Peter's Fish, (known to Americans as tilapia).

These fish don't know the history of these waters, and based on hydrology, this water is not the water that Joshua nor Jesus encountered. (I googled it, just to double check.) But this place remains. And it remains quite untouched by tourists, by profiteers, by the world.

As I walk away, I can walk a little lighter, knowing not only in my head the One who goes before me, but having the physical experience of history coming to life and reminding me that He goes before all of us, every single day, as long as we are willing to walk in faith.

It's my birthday

Excerpt from my journal: 11/4/2016

November 4th

It's my birthday, but that's not what has my heart racing.

Today is the day that I leave for my greatest spiritual adventure of my life time. At least, that's what I expect it to be.

Many have asked if I'm excited, and I have answered with an overwhelming... "YES!" That's what I should say, right? So I say it.

But, I don't even know what I am excited for. The words to articulate these emotions escape me.

Is it the unknown? The time by myself? The guilt-free time with the Lord, uninterrupted?

Is it because I have asked the Lord to break my heart for what breaks His and He is doing it?

Is it because I will literally be walking in the footsteps of Jesus?

I know it is all of these things and more.

I will meet peacemakers. Women who embody the characteristics of Jesus himself. They may not even know how much like Jesus they truly are.

I will shed tears... many. Knowing myself, the downpour will happen when I least expect it. What will cause it? Where will I be?

True to my personality, I scheduled a cry session before I left. Will that lessen the escalating emotions, the swings from high to low I'm about to experience?

What will happen when my pent up sobbing meets a physical broken heart?

How will I pick myself up and keep moving?

These are the things I worry about.

I do not worry about my life, my safety. I know the One who holds me.
I  have nothing to fear. I know His plan for me extends far beyond this journey.

Perhaps the answer to what I am most excited about is actually not a question at all. What if it's a request.

"Please don't let me return the same." 

I know there is no turning away from what I have learned. What I have read. 

I know there is no turning away from what I am about to see. 

So There's This Village

You won't recognize the name. In fact, you wouldn't recognize much about this little village. 

With 200 families living here, they are a tight knit community. They celebrate the art of agriculture. In fact, each family in this community is given a plot of land to farm. It's a desirable place to live because of the neighborhood and the love each family has for one another. 

But there is another side to this village. Actually, it's what lies outside the boundaries of this community that may haunt you.

In this village you can stand on the neighborhood street and in every direction you look, you can see a bomb shelter. 

A bus stop with a bombshell shelter next to it for students. If you hear the siren, students waiting to go to school have 15 seconds to make it into the shelter before the rocket hits. 

You can hear the rockets being launched from the other side, and without delay you can hear the attack helicopters taking off from here in the pursuit of retaliation. 

Just a mere two weeks ago, two bullets entered a home here. A TV, entertaining two boys, became a shield. Bullets, ringing through the home, lodged themselves in the TV, leaving the two boys unharmed... this time.

As I stand in this village I see a wall, 20 feet high. Around the corner are soldiers, tucked safely in a concrete room, openings just large enough to spot his eyes, peering out across the valley. 

Over there, across the valley is Gaza. The world's largest open air prison, named by those who live there. "To live there" might sound ambitious. Maybe "to exist there" is better. It seems as though they just exist. 

But from within the walls, there is one who tells another story. She shares a story of hopes, of dreams, of a future. Of course I can't see her, we can't go to her, and she can't come to us, so we speak over the phone.

"We have a right to live and a right to dream."

With no access to jobs, medical care, and little hopes for education, Heba refuses to stop dreaming. What does she dream about? Finishing her education. She has been accepted to attend a university in Israel to study bone disease and cancer in the jaw. A noble and beautiful dream. But today she waits, unable to leave the walls that surround her. She is praying for permission to leave, praying for permission to attend school. I am praying also. And so is Roni. 

Roni is a brave woman, a peace wager, a friend to Heba, and a friend to me. She chooses to live here, in this village. She could live anywhere. Anywhere. But she chooses to stay here, and wage peace. To fight for those whose voices have been silenced. She is committed to share the story of the other narrative, living on the other side of the wall, only 500 yards away. 

Her children are here too, and grandchildren. 

She tells us her story, her eyes meeting mine. 

"What are you willing to give up for peace?"

In this village, where one can justify hatred and violence toward the other... there are those who are waging peace.

Roni's words still ring, fresh in my ears. 

"It is not about one or the other, it is about being side by side no matter what."

At His Feet

I'm tired. I work hard. Really, really hard. My days are filled with kids, life, household management, family budget (ugh,) two jobs, which I love and friendships which deserve my attention. 

I really just want a break. Time for me. There are days when I truly do nothing for myself, besides, maybe eating. Some days I may take a shower, but even that can't always be counted as doing something for myself. Trust me, sometimes, the shower is for the benefit of others!

I really just want the beach, my Pinterest app and a great book. Don't I deserve this? I work so hard. 

This feeling of "deserving a break" is reinforced by society. Women are constantly pounded with messages that it is our right to have free time, that I should be allowed to indulge in selfish pleasures since I work so hard everyday. 

But recently I was challenged after reading an article that asked readers to find examples in the Bible of when Jesus took a break. 

Great. Sigh. The greatest man to walk the earth. A sinless Savior whose time on earth was spent healing the sick, and calling His disciples to be fishers of men. How on earth will I find examples of Christ, to prove my point, that I work hard and therefore deserve rest. 

Suddenly my entitlement of deserving a break lost merit. To my excitement, I did find that Jesus did indeed rest, but wait until you see how He spent His restful moments. 

During Jesus' life, He required the rest and refueling that all humans require to go on. Jesus knew this and was intentional to retreat from crowds and even His disciples, to get this much needed (and deserved) rest. 

But, you won't find Him searching Pinterest for fish recipes.

Jesus spent time at the feet of His Father. He rose early in the morning, or would withdraw to a mountain area to spent time alone with God. And He definitely didn't make a scene about all the work done today and therefore deserving of some rest. 

"Early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up and slipped out to a solitary place to pray."

Mark 1:35

"After telling everyone good-bye, he went up into the hills by himself to pray."

Mark 6:46

Jesus carried an unimaginable weight on His shoulders during His time here on earth. Yet, He knew the one true way to gain strength, to refuel, to rest. He wisely spent his time alone with God. 

As a busy mom, wife, ministry leader, coach and friend, I must find time periodically to refuel, rest and spend time with My Father. 

I can't let this challenge go by. Now that I know how Jesus spent his time, I have no excuse but to re-evaluate my time and how I use it. 

I've begun to make over my mornings allowing me more time to sit at His feet, and soak up His Word. Committing to give Him the first moments of my day.

I have intentionally re-framed the way my family spends the Sabbath. 

But I also know, now, that my attitude needs adjustment. I do work hard, and I do deserve rest. BUT, they way I spent my time refueling should draw me closer to my Father, rather than worldly distractions (Eh hum... Instagram).

Nourishing my soul needs to take a priority over leisure, and lasting joy is found the more I sit at His feet. 

Why We Love Hospitality

I truly believe, with everything in me, that lives are changed, transformed and more, in the home.

Tears are shed over coffee around the kitchen island.

Life decisions are made around the dining room table.

Calories are inhaled on the back patio (either yummy s’mores or BBQ ribs!)

Forever friendships are strengthened on the couches with a deck of cards and popcorn.

Prayers are lifted around the kitchen table.

Right?

Knowing this, how much more seriously should we take the moments we have in our home and with others?

I honestly feel the weight of this. It’s a burden. But we’re not in it alone, we’re in it together! 

Imagine 10, 20 or even 30 years from now, opening up a box, full of pictures, or maybe a scrapbook or photo album. Imagine those pictures capture the memories of every time you welcomed people through your front door. 

What would you see in those pictures?

Who would you see?

The Bible talks a lot about hospitality. Jesus himself often spent much time in the homes of friends, and friends of friends. In those times they learned, loved and laughed together. They experienced grace, and demonstrated grace.

Showing hospitality means demonstrating love, offering grace, being intentional with your time and focus. It takes work, but I believe it is some of the most important work we do.

Good 'ole fashioned hospitality can be as nourishing for your soul as it is for your belly!

Whether you're serving lemonade, gourmet appetizers, or a bowl of popcorn (with ranch seasoning, of course...) you are creating memories for you, and in the lives of those you welcome. Next time, take a snapshot, and savor the memories.

Check out a few of my favorite links to get you excited and ready to launch into making your home the most hospitable home on the block. 

Hospitality Outside the Box: from Feathers In Our Nest. 

Hospitality: from She Reads Truth

60 Family Tradition Ideas: from The Art of Manliness

Last Minute Tips: from Nicole V. Bennett

Family Traditions: from Focus on the Family

Hey Mom... what if...

"Hey Mom, what if we had one day, just one day, sometime, where we don't have to do anything?" 

Those were the words from my daughter as I lay in bed with her, tucking her in after a crazy, hectic, insane, totally self-inflicted day. 

On days like today, the absolute last thing I want to do is lay in bed with her for a few moments. I will fall asleep myself! Plus, the mountain of chores at the bottom of the stairs weighs on me. All the tasks that weren't accomplished during the day, since I spent, maybe 15 minutes at home... total. 

But, I have felt convicted recently, to spend more time with my kids in those few tender moments before they shut their eyes, pull their blankets up to their neck and nestle in to whichever stuffed animal was lucky enough to be chosen.

So here I lay, with an innocent question ahead of me. "Hey Mom..." 

This little person has so much wisdom in her thoughts. She knows, her spirit knows, her body knows. We aren't meant to live like this. Maybe we can swing a day or two, but sustain this lifestyle? Nope. 

So I respond. "Want to know something Molly? Jesus tells us exactly what you just asked for. He tells us in His Word that we are to rest, it's called Sabbath. Have you heard of that?"

"No," said Molly. "What does that mean?"

And so, this quick hug, kiss, lights out, tuck-in process isn't going to be too quick tonight. 

I chuckle sometimes at how wise the Lord is in knowing what we need. I chuckle, not because it's super funny, but because I think I know what I need. I need to do this, I need to buy that. I need to email this person, and post a message to that person. I need to attend this party and hit this sale. I need to plan this super awesome art project for my kids that takes me to 3 different stores just to purchase the items for it, on sale, of course. And I must absolutely not miss an opportunity to do life together with friends and family. 

"Oh, and by the way, Honey, I need to run to Kohl's."

"Why?" He asks. A fair question. 

"I have a $5 promotion code. Five dollars off my purchase and it expires today! I need to get a pillow. Your mom is coming in four months to visit. It will only end up costing me like 32 cents!" 

Thirty-two cents and way too much of my precious time, and energy. Seriously, that was a real-life conversation. 

All these things I think I need to do overshadow what I really must do... rest. 

"And he [Jesus] said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." Mark 2:27

“Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day is a Sabbath of solemn rest, a holy convocation. You shall do no work. It is a Sabbath to the Lord in all your dwelling places." Leviticus 23:3

“‘Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant, or your ox or your donkey or any of your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates, that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you. You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore the Lord your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath day." Deuteronomy 5:12-15

"So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his." Hebrews 4:9-10

Should I keep going? 

So what's a mom to do? 

I owe it to my daughter, my family, myself to get a hold of my schedule. And if I am a Christ-Follower, I will be better at this, to honor Him. 

Here's my game plan.
1. Analyze what it is the keeps me so busy on Sundays.
That's easy... Church (working on a church staff keeps my Sunday mornings filled), chores, yard work, gardening, family engagements, life group. Yikes... all good/necessary things.
2. What can I cut from the list above?
Simple... Chores and yard work.
3. When will I get those things done?
Saturdays. Saturday will be the new chore day. Plan ahead so that chores can be done early morning, before sporting activities and then immediately after.
4. How will I follow through on this?
Solicit hubby to jump on my new Sabbath bandwagon!
Calendar appointments for my family to complete chores first thing on Saturday mornings.
Prepare chore list prior, so everyone knows what needs to be done when. I absolutely love this resources found here:

http://www.thirtyhandmadedays.com/2013/08/organization_tips_accountability_binder/


I'm committed friends. I'm starting now. 

Stay tuned for my next blog post on my Morning Makeover!

An Open Letter...

An Open Letter to my Foster Son's Mom

Dear Mom,

You don't know me but I am your son's foster mom.

De is an incredible little boy. I know you know this.
He is adjusting so well after all he has been through. I am sure you are aware of what he and his brother have suffered through and experienced before they entered into state care.

The first few days were rough. He was scared. He didn't know who he could trust and who was safe. The adults in his life so far have let him down terribly. He had trouble trusting us and hoarding his food. Slowly he has opened us and in my opinion he is thriving.

At first the doctor was concerned about his size and weight. He is very low on the national percentile of children his age due to malnutrition. However, with a healthy and safe lifestyle he is eating and growing. As of now, he has no ongoing medical appointments or therapies.

Some of this may be hard to hear, but I want to be 100% honest with you. He deserves so much better than the life he has had so far. He deserves better than what the adults in his life have done or have allowed to be done to him.

Mom, he needs you to fight for him. He needs you to do everything you can to make his life better. And he needs you to start now. He needs you to be ready to be his mom again when you are released. As one mother to another, please hear my heart.

I will love him, cherish him, provide everything he needs from a mom, now right. I am filling in for you. But you are his forever mom. I won't keep him from you or turn him against you. I promise.

I need you to promise that you will do everything required of you and then some. I need you to promise that you will become self-less and put his needs and his brother's needs above your own.

We love him, and because you are his mom, we love you too. I pray for you daily and am on your team.

He deserves the best life ever, you can give this to him.

In this together,

Becky

Sweet Peace

Sweet Peace

Nearly nine years ago, I had the privilege to meet the amazing Wynonna Judd. Growing up a country girl, I could hardly resist being completely star-struck. She had recently released a song titled “Peace In This House.” I was two months away from the birth of my first child which was a whirlwind. However, my husband and I were in the midst of complete chaos with our family around us. Broken-hearted, I clung to the words of the song.

“Hey kids turn off the TV. No I don't want to watch the evening news.

Come on over here and sit down next to me, and let your mama look at you.
Your beautiful faces that I wanna keep safe as long as I can. 

I'm telling you right now, there's gonna be peace in this house.

There's gonna be peace in this house.

There's gonna be some tender talkin’ and sweet little nothings that add up to the something’s we can do without.

There's gonna be peace in this house.

Some belief in this house. Every good thing that ever happens, happens from the inside out.
I'm telling you right now, there's gonna be peace in this house.”

I promised my sweet baby, yet to be born, that no matter what… there would be peace in our house.

Fast-forward to today, I have two crazy kiddos who dominant my life, schedule and sleep patterns! I have a gigantic dog that loves mud and a house that is bursting with noise constantly. What happened to the peace I promised so long ago?

This week in my quiet time, I was reading in the book of John. In John 14:27, Jesus shares with his disciples, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

How easy it is to think that I am responsible for my own peace! My only responsibility is to accept it from Jesus. He knows what I need and what the needs of my children are. He knows what riles me up, and what calms me down. The best part of all is that He is offering it to me. Free and clear. No strings attached. And He is offering it to you.

As I reflect on this incredibly busy time of year, peace seems harder to find. I have found His peace in the quiet, intentional moments: listening to worship music, sipping tea and reading the Bible with my kids. I find the calmer moments, (although seemingly few and far between!) are more tender and peace filled.

As we approach Christmas and through the beginning of 2015, I pray you find the peace your Savior came to offer you. Relish every moment. Ask Him to quiet your spirit. Allow the Prince of Peace to be your peace now and forever.

Just For Tonight

Just for tonight... I won't be the bad guy.

As I type, my two kiddos are asleep next to me in my bed. They just fell asleep. It's late. It's a school night. Homework due tomorrow is not yet done. But just for tonight... I won't be the bad guy. 

As a matter of fact, I planned it this way. I knew it would be late, and I knew I could potentially pay for this in the morning, but I stopped on my way home tonight, rented a Redbox and surprised my kiddos with a movie they have wanted to see. Tomorrow is going to be battle. We most likely will oversleep, wake up and run around like crazy trying to eat breakfast finish homework, pack lunches and argue about what my daughter wants to wear to school.  But just for tonight... I won't be the bad guy.

I spent my early evening watching my friend say good-bye to her mother. Friends and family gathered, hundreds. It was beautiful. Touching. So many tender things said about a life lost way too soon. 

While I am sharing in the grief of all who were with me this evening, I am resolved. I am going to be intentional with my kids tonight. I am going to hold them a little longer, snuggle a little closer and give extra kisses. Because just for tonight... I won't be the bad guy.

So often in life, I get caught up in what the world expects of me. I am supposed to have a tidy home, never a dirty sock to be seen, my kids hair should always be in place (Ha! Have you met my son?) and beds are made every morning. Don't even get me started on elementary school homework! Even if I could achieve all of this on a daily basis... I don't want to. 

I don't want to be the mom or woman that society tells me I should be. I want to be who God designed me to be. The mom my kids need me to be. God knit me, all my characteristics, physical traits and more, together before I was born.  In Job, chapter 33, verse 4, Job says, "The Spirit of God has made me." He designed me and my children to be a perfect fit. If I truly believe this is so, why do I let society influence who I am meant to be? 

When I let society mold me, I suddenly want to be seen as the woman who has it all together. A woman whose children are well behaved and don't stand on the booths at Dairy Queen. Whose children would never think of rolling their eyes when they don't get their way. And she would definitely not yell at them for it if they did. She would never imagine in engaging in battle with them over homework each night. My expectations are quite unrealistic. I can never measure up. Even worse, what side of me comes out when I try to keep it together? I can promise you.... It ain't pretty.  

I won't get it right, ever. I will fail every single day. But I have hope, for, by the grace of God, He is with me. He will never leave me. When I deserve it the least, He will be there. In my moments of pure joy and my times of deep sorrow, even in my raw and un-pretty motherhood battle, He will be there.

My time on earth is short. And the time I have with my little ones is even shorter.  So I am breaking the mold. I am going to hold them a little longer, snuggle a little closer and give extra kisses. Because just for tonight... I won't be the bad guy.